dissapointing situations

emm.. i already back to shah alam once more after a short vacation in langkawi dis week..

however, there are some situations yang membuatkan i wonder what's happening actually.. nak kene pikir balik berulang kali apakah perasaan yang dirasa tu..

after all, my vacation is not really stress-free la senang citer..

like today pun datang ofis sebab rasa cam banyak benda yang tak setel n nanti mengganggu bila masuk minggu baru yang bz..

as mentioned above, ada beberapa situasi yang ingin di-list-kan..

1st and foremost, regarding my ex.. i've wrote in my earlier post {i'm a free lady today~} that i am really free from my ex.. but however, the situation is not really easy as it seems to be la.. takde la nak menyalahkan sesiapa.. cuma..

i can easily distracted disebabkan ingatan to my ex.. sumtime, i just sitting alone n teringat la plak.. yupe, he's ruining my life.. tapi, mungkin la jugak becoz he is my 1st luv tu macam susah sket.. but, his mistake to me melebihi segala-galanya.. n dat's 1 thing i cannot forget.. dat's 1 thing, making me lose control of myself.. dat's 1 thing will be able to destroy not only my life, my heart, my mind, my everything akan terganggu disebabkan dat's 1 thing..

sumtime, i just cannot tahan all dis dugaan..

selalunya, i will not think of him.. tapi, disebabkan his face is a familiar one.. chinese-look tall, fair guy.. i already saw so many of him in my surroundings.. nak tak nak, the ingatan will eventually coming on n off to my mind n thus, making me suffer more.. i really hate dis 1 fela n all i just can do which not really possible, is to not seeing a sumbody like him by using my eyes.. {can i say dat??} i just don't want him, don't want to think about him, don't want to have anything about him on my mind anymore.. hating u much, *****!! sux.. full stop.

my 2nd story.. during my way back from langkawi, i heard a news on my so-long secret admire whom is getting marry soon.. shock n surprise.. but acceptable la.. yang not really can accept tu, he always tell me his progress n development in life plak tu.. suddenly, not me plak.. sumone else yang berjaya dapat-kan hati dia..

n the story will come back to situation 1 where dat fucking fella slowly destroy my life again..

tapi takpe.. as my abg once said to me, i can like a sumbody dengan segera.. n nanti bila dah serasi berkawan, i can act un-knowingly seperti menyukai dat sumbody.. tapi rupa-rupanya, my treat tu is just-fren treat jer.. bukan admiring dah..

lebih2 lagi, i already know his personality.. his way of life.. suma tu akan jadi factors for me to not admiring dat sumone already.. but to be just frens, sure.. sampai bila2 pun takpe.. takde hal la..

sumtime, nobody know la bout that funny lil' feeling inside tu.. biase2 jer.. cepat suka, then cepat jer hilang perasaan suka tu.. hmm..

the 3rd situation must be about my pembantu am job la.. currently i'm a pembantu am yang buat keje admin, hr, account, despatch, baby-sitter, bibik, buyer, drebar n ecetra2.. but sumhow, my salary is remaining the same since my appointment.. even though i already take over keje banyak orang yang dah resign.. even though i just make my job tanpa banyak soal.. even though after me is higher paid than me for a lower post than me.. even though promises come after one another for my increment.. even though banyak benda occur in between ketika banyak lagi benda lain yang penting jugak untuk diselesaikan.. there are just so many things..

since i already have my own assistant.. i pun dah hand over a lot of easier things to her.. but sumhow, bukan suma benda i can pass to her as a lot more needs some skills n knowledge to run n settle.. bercuti pun tak macam bercuti.. i am a workaholic.. but for me, what i do does not equally treated n rewarded la.. dis is a new era kan?? work is work.. pay me a good amount, n i will serve, take care n luv with all my heart la kan.. seriously, a small amount for huge jobs done is not enough for me to stay put in the world right now.. seriously..

rasanya, suma tu bukan masalah nyer sekarang.. i just maintain my job n try to settle everything until a certain time limit.. n after dat, goodbye bebeh.. dat will be a no turning back time lah kan.. silence doesn't mean always agreeing.. diam2 ubi berisi kan.. haha.. buat everything sehabis baik n when the time comes, it will be then..

tq for all the supports for all my frens yang memberi sokongan to me in everything.. i really appreciate all you guys.. i luv u.. muaahh..